Spring blooms

Portland has been blessed with quite a few sunshiney days this year. This has been bad for the snow on the mountain, but great for the flowers around town. I have not been riding my bike near as much as I want to be lately, but as I was cruising up to a babysitting gig through the park, I remembered why I miss it so much. You see things when you are on your bike (or on foot). The world just moves slower and it is nice to have music in your ears and notice the small things.

My camera has also been in the shop (sadly) so I have felt out of touch with creativity. Thankfully, my girlfriend Robin tipped me off to this great new iPhone app that takes Polaroid pictures. Love.

The magnolias are in full bloom including this gorgeous JC Magnolia in Washington Park. The Rose Garden is far from the only point of interest up in those west hills!
And as I was leaving work last night, I noticed the street lights had a funny way of making the cherry blossoms glow. Breathtaking against the wet streets and crisp air.

You can see more of this teaser spring bloom here.

Get RAW

I can honestly say this week I did something I never thought I would do...and I liked it. *gasp!*

Dylan's brother Neebin asked us if we would like to go see a show last week. My brain started flipping through all the possible musical options and when we asked what show we got a surprising reply...WWE Wrestling.

I'm always open to new ideas and I love getting out of the house with my boys so off we went to witness Monday Night RAW. I was anticipating a spectacle of outrageous, over the top people and while it is true that the people watching distracted me from the actual show about 80% of the time, it was for a completely unexpected reason. There were so many families in the crowd with little kids and they were all having such a great time.

I came to realize that I might not have been into watching wrestling as a kid, but these little tykes LOVE it. This drama is REAL to them and their parents just made their year by bringing them to this show.

This kid in particular was a riot. He was jumping up and down screaming at the top of his lungs for his hero, John Cena, to get up and "jump off the ropes". His dad could barely stay awake during most of the show, but seeing his son watch his idol made him just beam with joy during that short (unbelievely unfair) match.

Even just watching Dylan and Neebin made me laugh. They grew up with this and I'm pretty sure there was some sort of time warp that happened as soon as we stepped through the doors. They were like little kids again. Gossiping back and forth, laughing that the Undertaker is still in business. Soon I realized I was beaming just as much as the dad a row down. I expected some aggressive, angry mob mentality and although Dylan swears the "testosterone was just palpable!" I felt nothing but good energy from the crowd.

All walks of life make it out to the WWE and I gotta say it was fantastastic. Shockingly fantastic.

Home improvement

It has been such a crazy year and I need some good distractions. Dylan needs some new paint and a few things done around the house.

We have both been so busy with a total home makeover and I don't have many pictures yet but just to give you an idea of what's to come, here's the first before and after...

Puppy love

Little Ezio continues to crack me up on a daily basis. He contorts himself into the strangest positions and falls asleep upside down more than right side up. Sometimes he will just be in the middle of playing with a toy and decide it's time for a nap instead. It's like a little kid falling asleep in the spaghetti bowl.

Overall he has been very good and we have had minimal casualties to puppyhood around the house. Although, one day last week, I did come home to find he had eaten his dad's leg off...

A hell of a new year

I don't even know what to say. The peaks and valleys of this up and down year have me nauseous and it's been moving so fast I don't have time to think or react...not to mention settle in and feel at peace.

Overall: I am happy. I am happy, but it's been a challenge. I have been a bit anxious at times and that can be overwhelming. I have also had some very sad times with the recent passing of my Oma. Such a beautiful, wonderful woman...I will miss her terribly. There are really no words and thus I don't know what to say.

On the 6th of February, when I tried to leave Pittsburgh for Portland I was shuffled from plane to plane to plane after record snow storms pushed through the east coast. Flights were rescheduled and eventually flights were canceled.


I look back now and I am so grateful for that dang blizzard. Despite being home for a full month, I didn't get to spend a lot of time with my parents and it was nice to drive around a snowy Pittsburgh amazed at how fast the falling flakes brought the city to a stand still. I even got to see the house that my Oma lived in and visit with old family friends. The same house my mom first came to when my parents were dating in college and she was meeting Oma for the first time.

I have parents who are so willing to do anything if it means supporting us kids. After staying in Pittsburgh all day in hopes that something might open up at that airport we finally got home to Guys Mills around midnight and on 2 hours of sleep my dad drove me 3 hours to Cleveland so I could be on the next flight out and make it to work on time. Selfless. And he's not the only one! Another example: my sister booked me on a flight to Tennessee for my Oma's funeral as her thank you gift to me for my time at home. Unbelievable. That is my family.


My brother is in Florida, my sister and I in Oregon, my Aunt and her boys in Tennessee and my parents in Pennsylvania, but yet we somehow manage to help and support each other despite being so geographically spread out. At 28, I now know how rare that is and I am so eternally grateful. Oma made caring for others her number one priority throughout her entire life and I am proud to know that we have all learned from her and love each other so much.


Despite the grainy quality (my camera is at the doctor's office) these pictures make me think of the emotions that have been running through me so far this year. I wish I had the words to say more, but they just aren't there. Only 3 stand out above all else...love, support, gratitude.

I love you Oma.

On a lighter noter...

I read my last entry and realized I left it on such a gloom and doom note. There are a lot of positive things at home and being back on the dirt roads makes you slow down and enjoy the moment- something I struggle with in Portland where there are so many things to do and so many choices to make.

Here are a few other things I learned while at home:

· I drove my dad’s truck. It is an F350 extended cab, dually back monster with a stubborn 2^nd gear and big ol’ stick shifter (think big rig). I’m a pro.

· The radio stations in Guys Mills, PA consist of country, country, classic rock and country.

· There is nothing good on TV and a whole lot of the same crap on multiple channels.

· On a similar note people actually believe they can carve abs in bed. Seriously people…

· I played 8 games of pool in 2 days with a 65 year old man and only won once. I need to practice more billiards.

· Avatar was surprisingly good considering sci fi normally makes me cringe

· I miss my bikes.

· I actually enjoy bird watching. As long as the birds come to me. That happens when you bribe them with food and the rest of the ground is covered with a foot of snow.

· Miss Kitty also enjoys bird watching. Maybe a little too much.

· My dog Maverick will never ever EVER tire from playing with his red ball. He’s obsessed. BUT if he does tire from fetching it the game turns more into keep away and I’m the victim.

· My parents are extremely resourceful. I am so grateful for how many life skills they have taught me including more traditional ones involving craftsmanship and creative problem solving.

· I love my grandma. I love her so much. She is goofy and can make jokes about any awkward situation we seem to find ourselves in. I hope as I grow old I continue to find the humor in life.

· My parents are computer-challenged. Maybe my mom more than my dad, but it showed me where I get it from. They act like there are more important things in the world. Weird.

· I love my parents cooking. Another life skill I am grateful for. I love vegetables.

· Running in 15 degree weather (that’s without the wind chill and around 1pm for max sun) gets really old really fast. I have a whole new level of respect for northern winter runners. That’s dedication.

· Finding the proper base layer combination is hard when you are out of practice.

· I don’t miss the east coast. I specifically don’t miss the dry, brutal cold. I DO miss my family. A lot. I feel like I usually come for 5 days and it’s never long enough. Now I’ve been here for 30 and it still seems too short. Does that ever go away?

Returning home to the house you grew up in for a month can make you feel like a kid again real quick. It is an overnight transformation. I’m not sure if that is good or bad, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say good…87.6% of the time.

Stop the ride. I wanna get off.

I picked up the paper the other day and the front page had a huge article called “Save the Streak”. You see the Blue Streak is an old wooden roller coaster outside of town. I’m pretty sure it almost killed me several times as a kid, but there is a group of people in town trying to raise money to fix it up and keep it running. I’m not sure if this is historic preservation or refusing to let the past go.

I continued on through to paper and handed it over to my Grandma so she could read the obituaries (part of my new daily routine), but I couldn’t get this roller coaster out of my mind. My sister and I would go to Conneaut Lake Park just so we could ride this rickety mess over and over and over.

This whole past month has felt like a roller coaster ride. I wish I could say it was a good day then a bad day, but it has more rolls than that, more like a good minute and then a bad minute. I have no idea what is around the bend or what is going to happen after the steady clicking to the top stops and to be perfectly honest I am exhausted. I want OFF.

The highs have been very high, full of gratitude, love and laughs and the lows have been miserable, full of sharp pain and unbearable sadness. I really don’t want to get into detail, but I will say that I am starting to rethink the “live to 100” thing. It is such a romantic notion and the reality is it is the decline is far from graceful and it is often very lonely.

I would also like to say that life repeats itself…over and over and over. Sometimes I just wish I had the power to intervene and stop the cycle. I’m very torn between wanting to get home and move forward and fearful that I have not done enough here. There is just so much. I also feel bitter toward money and have not felt that way in quite a few years. I get so angry at the direct correlation between money and comfort or lack of money and stress. I am happy that not having money taught me how to be responsible and independent, but I am so bitter in this moment. I wish the universe would reward people for selfless acts, but that would require divine intervention and I believe people have more to do with their progress or decline than a higher being. And for the record, I am not saying that one exists or doesn’t exist- just that people make choices and consequences can be expected as a result.
I better get back to Portland and make my millions. If anyone has suggestions for how I can do that, I am all ears.