My journal is beautiful. Nothing ornate or extraordinary, just a simple notebook with a faux-suede cover and a small strap to keep my pen from escaping. I also pretend that strap makes it somehow safer from journal pirates invading my privacy despite the fact that it is secured only by velcro. It sits on the shelf and every now and again I feel inspired to pick it up and write. It looks natural. Like something that could have grown straight from this earth. And while I know it was actually manufactured in some god forsaken factory and several beautiful trees were probably slaughtered for my personal consumerism, I pretend it wasn’t. It’s pretty…and I love it.
I’m fairly certain my journal loves me back too. It doesn’t judge me. I can vent to my journal about anything without censoring my thoughts or questioning their validity. Once you write a blog, your thoughts are out there. Now other people can read them. I don’t want other people to read them. No offense, but they are mine and I don’t need comments. If I want feedback, I talk to other people. Face to face.
My journal does not pressure me. That is part of withholding judgment. It knows I am busy and unlike my computer that holds everything work and deadline related within its core, it is warm and inviting. My computer is black and cold and needs all these additional parts and plug-in pieces to be considered remotely average. It is ridiculed incessantly because it’s not a Mac and therefore sub-par. My poor computer. It does not produce calm when I look at it. How am I supposed to go to this unpleasant box and allow it to mediate my thoughts into the universe? Do I trust this box? Do I even know how to use this box? Besides, there is something perfect about allowing my emotions to spill onto a page using a pen…the simple way.
I like the simple life and when I want to get away, I don’t want technology following me around like a little kid. “look at me, look at me!” It’s too easy to get sucked in. It’s too easy to distort reality and get lost in what doesn’t matter. I don’t care what Paris Hilton did today…and NO I don’t want to see what she tweeted about. I already feel like I have too much technology in my life. I have 3 email accounts to check, not including my Facebook inbox. Facebook…the black hole of the internet. I even have a new fancy phone and now *gasp* I’m writing a blog. Hell has officially frozen over.
As of today, with a big sigh of defeat, I have decided to embrace technology. It does good things for me. It stores all my pictures and allows me to stay in touch with my loved ones who are far, far away. I can send music to my mom and smiles to my boyfriend while he’s at work. Sometimes, I even get them back…via email.
Here’s the biggest reason I want to start this blog: I need to communicate with the universe. I’m sure at some other point in history there was a more grand ritual for this...voodoo magic, dances, messages in bottles, maybe even prayers. I’m going to write a blog. It’s the modern thing to do and what can I say, I’m just hip. Really, really hip.
A girl I know just entered the Peace Corp and part of the paperwork is an aspiration statement. She posted it on her blog and while it was very inspirational, I admit that I stopped reading half way through. I decided I needed my own statement and was afraid that if I kept reading hers it may affect my own. I am going to declare my aspirations to the universe using the internet as my liaison. Here goes…
1. They say that if you want something, you need to send out positive energy. Think good thoughts. Create good vibes. I will live with enduring optimism for myself and those I love. May it be represented in my thoughts and actions every day.
2. I will see the world. I know I am only a small piece of the puzzle and I also know how much I learn through travel by experiencing a new place with open eyes and an open heart. I will live in a different country, even if it's a limited time offer.
3. I will determine my own success. I will not allow cultural influence to determine it for me. I may listen to some collective rules, and do my best to remain within the limits of the law, but I will be the judge of how I define the word. Then I will be successful.
4. I will find a better path. I feel so much pressure lately to have a plan. I don’t want a plan. I don’t want to predetermine my life. I just don’t know what I want to do. There I said it. I don’t know. But I’m open and I want to try some new things. A path allows diversion. I will find the best combination of all my interests and all my inspiration so I may be happy. Truly happy.
Whew. I feel better already. Now if you will excuse me, I have to make some things happen.
**Disclaimer: All aspirations are organic by nature and therefore reserve the right to morph and move as needed so that the owner of said aspirations may pursue personal success. Said owner also has no intention of replacing her beautiful journal. Even though this is a secret…some thoughts just aren’t meant to be shared. Not even with the universe.
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