9.20.2009

Beautiful things

On the road to Seattle last week I saw one of my favorite northwest landscapes and quickly remembered why I love the freedom that comes with travel. You escape the “normal” beauty that surrounds you on a daily basis and get a chance to open your eyes to new surroundings. Somehow upon the return to the familiar your eyes remain open and the normal is once again captivating. A few examples…

A stormy, slate blue sky retreating to allow the sunshine through. In the process shadows are cast over green pastures making them brighter than you could possibly imagine.

Looking out over the Columbia River Gorge on an overcast, rainy day with minimal view only to turn around and see the granite wall behind you funneling a small stream of water across the lichen then dripping slowly from the plush moss at the bottom.

The Portland and Seattle skylines mocking the Cascade Mountain range. Beautiful and striking but only visible once you round the bend of the highway. Watch at dawn or dusk as the light reflects off the water making each street an alley of stark contrast, showing off the disparities between new glass and old brick designs.

The cascade mountains themselves, disjointed and independent, making an eerie, mirage-like image on the horizon. Each making a bold statement to geological strength and power, while blending in to the soft blue of the horizon and easing the soul into a more peaceful state.


The trees. All greener from the plentiful rains abundant not just in the parks but littering the sidewalks, 3 to a block.

And to think…I’ve barely escaped my back yard. Let the road trip begin!

9.10.09 I could be more. I should be.

A small piece of graffiti on the wall of an abandoned building. I had to pass this simple but powerful statement every day. In a car I may have never seen it, let alone had the time to read it, but on my bike the blunt truth was haunting. Not just for that individual (I don’t support vandalism, but wonder about the thoughts that provoked this action) but also for so many other young people trying to find their way.



I thought of taking a picture so many times...then I would get home and forget. Out of sight, out of mind. Now it is gone. Is that a statement to my lost photographic opportunity or a tribute to my quickly progressing future?

9.8.09 Listen for the meaning

I was biking to work this morning thinking as usual. I am slowly checking off the list and making sure the “old jobs” are coming to a close.

I have also completed my first weekend with the “new job” up in Seattle. Stumbled my way through a little bit, but I think I did ok. I look forward to a free mind so I can focus on studying the products I need to know, but for now the brain just keeps rattling along…did I call this person? Did I find coverage for that class? Oh crap…I need to change my address.

Time for music. Music relaxes me, slows my thinking, and allows me to just push along. I will worry about that daunting to do list later.

Ingrid Michaelson popped into my head and “Be ok” was first on the lineup. Fitting. Next up: “Giving up”. How depressing…

Or is it? I listened closer and realized it is not depressing at all. It is all about accepting the bad with the good. Not always looking for more and instead accepting that life will happen. It is actually quite romantic…jumping in with two feet. Again…fitting.

Take a closer listen

9.2.09 Life on a sheet of paper

I have a planner that I live and die by. Well, maybe not actually die by. That’s a bit extreme. I am prepared, not planned, remember? Regardless…this little planner tells me where to go and what to do on a daily basis. For the past 6 months or so I have maintained 4 jobs consistently (5 if you count sporadic catering) and this book keeps it all straight. Each day is broken down into hours and each hour has a job or name or task to accomplish.

Day by day I checked each hour off the list. My time management skills were definitely top notch, but most of the other things I enjoy suffered. They didn’t make it onto my list.

I wrote it all out on a sheet today. All the people I have to tell: all my bosses, clients, class participants, co-workers and friends. I took a good look at all those names on one sheet of paper. What in the world was I thinking? How did I not lose my mind?

I gained perspective quickly as I stared at that one sheet. The same amount of information takes on an entirely different meaning when the hour by hour lines and the day by day blocks and page by page weeks are gone. Now it’s just a list. A list of people I care about deeply.

The excitement is fading, just slightly, as the sadness sneaks in to say hi. How in the world will I be able to tell all these people I am leaving within two weeks?

9.1.09 A new start

It is the beginning of a new month and the beginning of a new job! A new adventure, a new start! I am so unbelievably excited and also trying to absorb the weight of a big transition.

I left my interview yesterday afternoon feeling good about how it went but still waiting to hear if I was going to be hired. The biggest issue I was having was because after talking in more detail I realized just how much I desired this change of pace…but I was still waiting. Still hanging…

Luckily I was once again immediately surrounded by those I love. Dylan was biking by and new I was there so he stopped and waited for me to get done. Two lovely ladies also restructured their afternoons to bike downtown with me and then wandered around till I was done. How often do you leave a job interview and walk outside to meet three of your favorite people. As much as my level of want had been heightened, my level of appreciation for the life I have was rising on a correlated path.

After dinner and a couple “be happy either way” drinks I checked my email right before bed. I GOT THE JOB!!

Relief and gratitude overwhelms. I have a new, exciting job opportunity and old, thoughtful friends supporting my every move. I am truly lucky and ready to move forward.

8.27.09 The unknown.

Waiting. Nothing is more anxiety provoking than uncertainty. For someone who enjoys spontaneity, I sure am uncomfortable with the unknown. Why? I don’t actually want to know my future. Surprises are what it’s all about, but I sure would like to know if I got this job.

I like to be organized, scheduled, and budgeted. But then again I think there is a big difference between being planned and being prepared. The latter still allows room for change and flexibility.

It is a constant battle within my heart and mind. I’m working hard to find that balance between living in the moment and being prepared. Appreciate the now. Take time to stop and see the beauty that surrounds us. Smell the roses.



I want to know and I hate waiting, but for now I am going to try to enjoy the present. The future comes soon enough.